Why do we choose to keep silent when there is something which has to be protested? According to what I have read in essay of Hendry Louis Gates Jr. “What’s in a Name”. Gates’ father showed that being silent could be the right decision of prejudice of colored people at that moment in Piedmont, West Virginia. Probably he thought that speaking out would not change anything. Even though I have never confronted such kinds of prejudice but I had the same experience. I had something to be protested but I choose not to. As I remember when my mom decided to have a son after having miscarriage, I realized that I was a child who was afraid to protest about it.
In my little family, I lived with my mom, dad, and two younger sisters in a house which is full of simplicity. Fifteen years goes on during my parents’ marriage and never get a serious problem among us. We lived happily and enjoyed every single time that we had. When my parents are getting old and seeing their relations had a son or more in a family, they really want to have so. They had a strong desire to have a son since they got married in 1992 and did so many efforts to get what they absolutely wanted. Unfortunately, the result was not satisfying enough until in 2007 my youngest sister was born. The efforts did not stop on it because having no son in a family considered unhappy marriage as a belief of Balinese. There will be no one who takes care of the parent when they are getting old, maintains the family temple etc. Therefore, one year after my youngest sister was born, my mom pregnant but when the womb attained the age of 1 month my mom lost her baby.
One day at the middle of night, I heard a serious discussion between my mom and my dad. It has been running three years since my mom's miscarriage. I thought that my parents had forgotten the plan to have a son because as I knew there were some factors especially in medical side which was not suggested to be pregnant. The age that no longer good for my mom is the consideration. Surprisingly what I was thinking of was totally different with my parents’ view point. They did every single effort which came from many sources to make their dream comes true.
I began thinking about what I have heard and decided to tell my grandmas. Both of them knew what the plan of my parents was. They instead support my parent to have a son whereas they knew that it came with some risks but they didn't think that it was a big problem. It seemed strange for me. Why did they let my parents to run the plan? Didn't they anxious with the risk which threat? None of my family members supported me in dealing with this problem. This was one of the major reasons why I decided to keep silent. Moreover, I considered that I just a little girl who did not has a role to take a part in this problem. Even if I could speak out but my parents did not consider even just a bit about what I was talking about. I realized that I was a girl who knew about nothing especially the rule as Balinese. Time goes on and I tried to think in harmony as what the perspective of my parents. As far as I was concerned, I had no choices except thought in line with a valuable of a son and forgot the incident as no precious thing.
Now maturation of myself which made me felt brave enough and saw the situation differently. The more I thought about this situation the more I wanted to express my protest and some questions rose in my mind. Should my mom push herself to have a son whether the condition was not possible to have a baby? What was the impact to my mom as well as the baby? Many other questions emerged and filled in my mind. Aren't daughter or son same? No matter the gender is. They are gorgeous gift ever given from the Lord. Therefore, they are thankful and grateful to God for his blessing of having three daughters. No need to be sad because daughter also has the same responsibility likes a son to take care of the parents, maintain the family temple, continue the generation etc. The answers of those questions give me a sense of the beneficial effects if I could speak out. If I encounter the same situation today, I know what I should do regardless from the result whether it is going to be satisfying or not.
Now my mom can be more enjoyed and concern with her health but both of my mom and my dad still do so many efforts medically and traditionally to get out of this problem. They did not push themselves too much. They prove that they are wise parents in deciding a decision. They enjoy the life. They don’t make this problem as a big problem because they belief there will be other happiness from their 3 daughters. This view point will guide them to have a better life and make a harmony among family members.
Luckily, my parents and me have a closer relationship than before because appreciating, respecting and understanding each other are the key to build a unity within a family. Fortunately I don’t have the same reaction like Gates’ father and his friend Mr. Wilson who underestimate him as a part of prejudice.
In my little family, I lived with my mom, dad, and two younger sisters in a house which is full of simplicity. Fifteen years goes on during my parents’ marriage and never get a serious problem among us. We lived happily and enjoyed every single time that we had. When my parents are getting old and seeing their relations had a son or more in a family, they really want to have so. They had a strong desire to have a son since they got married in 1992 and did so many efforts to get what they absolutely wanted. Unfortunately, the result was not satisfying enough until in 2007 my youngest sister was born. The efforts did not stop on it because having no son in a family considered unhappy marriage as a belief of Balinese. There will be no one who takes care of the parent when they are getting old, maintains the family temple etc. Therefore, one year after my youngest sister was born, my mom pregnant but when the womb attained the age of 1 month my mom lost her baby.
One day at the middle of night, I heard a serious discussion between my mom and my dad. It has been running three years since my mom's miscarriage. I thought that my parents had forgotten the plan to have a son because as I knew there were some factors especially in medical side which was not suggested to be pregnant. The age that no longer good for my mom is the consideration. Surprisingly what I was thinking of was totally different with my parents’ view point. They did every single effort which came from many sources to make their dream comes true.
I began thinking about what I have heard and decided to tell my grandmas. Both of them knew what the plan of my parents was. They instead support my parent to have a son whereas they knew that it came with some risks but they didn't think that it was a big problem. It seemed strange for me. Why did they let my parents to run the plan? Didn't they anxious with the risk which threat? None of my family members supported me in dealing with this problem. This was one of the major reasons why I decided to keep silent. Moreover, I considered that I just a little girl who did not has a role to take a part in this problem. Even if I could speak out but my parents did not consider even just a bit about what I was talking about. I realized that I was a girl who knew about nothing especially the rule as Balinese. Time goes on and I tried to think in harmony as what the perspective of my parents. As far as I was concerned, I had no choices except thought in line with a valuable of a son and forgot the incident as no precious thing.
Now maturation of myself which made me felt brave enough and saw the situation differently. The more I thought about this situation the more I wanted to express my protest and some questions rose in my mind. Should my mom push herself to have a son whether the condition was not possible to have a baby? What was the impact to my mom as well as the baby? Many other questions emerged and filled in my mind. Aren't daughter or son same? No matter the gender is. They are gorgeous gift ever given from the Lord. Therefore, they are thankful and grateful to God for his blessing of having three daughters. No need to be sad because daughter also has the same responsibility likes a son to take care of the parents, maintain the family temple, continue the generation etc. The answers of those questions give me a sense of the beneficial effects if I could speak out. If I encounter the same situation today, I know what I should do regardless from the result whether it is going to be satisfying or not.
Now my mom can be more enjoyed and concern with her health but both of my mom and my dad still do so many efforts medically and traditionally to get out of this problem. They did not push themselves too much. They prove that they are wise parents in deciding a decision. They enjoy the life. They don’t make this problem as a big problem because they belief there will be other happiness from their 3 daughters. This view point will guide them to have a better life and make a harmony among family members.
Luckily, my parents and me have a closer relationship than before because appreciating, respecting and understanding each other are the key to build a unity within a family. Fortunately I don’t have the same reaction like Gates’ father and his friend Mr. Wilson who underestimate him as a part of prejudice.
